Treatments and Life Goes On

Day 20 of radiation is tomorrow. My treated skin is no longer tender! It's downright raw. And red. And getting angrier. Not good. Fatigue is becoming more obvious, but I still have managed to get in a few workouts since I have a triathlon this Sunday. It will be my last of the year most likely and I'm mainly doing it to participate with and support my running group, who are all doing the race as well. They are a fun bunch and are very supportive of me. Wouldn't bother going for just anyone.

The girls have been busy with friends all week and are letting me have some rest time. That would be my children, those girls who are enjoying their summer. My other two girls, the dogs, have no interest whatsoever in letting me rest. They demand their walks no matter how tired I am. They choose not to notice I'm laying on the couch with heavy eyelids. So off we go. When I try to turn back toward the house and its at a point shorter than the day before, they resist. Damn them for being so smart.


I am glad for this blog because people ask me "How are you doing?" but I find it hard to explain how I am. I wonder do they really want the answer? Are they just asking to be polite? Its kinda boring to say I'm tired and irritated, so I just say "I'm doing fine".

This isn't the worst thing I could go through. Chemo is MUCH worse but I know brave souls who've made it through that. I have a new friend who I met through her brother who's in my running group who just finished chemo and now will start radiation. All this after a mastectomy. I have another friend who's 2 year old daughter has a degenerative disease and is in constant danger of even a headcold being fatal. She is equally amazing.

I'm just going in for a 2 minute treatment for 33 days. Nothing really to complain about. I am grateful for that. Now I'll just wait for the end of treatment and get back to REALLY being "fine".

Day 10 of Radiation...23 to go.

10 Days in and I'm plowing through this Thing. I have swelling and a dull ache on that side, which is weird, but not unlike how your breasts change when you are pregnant, only this is on only one of them. The fatigue is creeping up too, again like an early pregnancy. Unlike pregnancy, I'm not building milk to cause these symptoms, but the ducts are being irradiated to prevent the bad stuff from getting together and growing into more breast cancer.

I'm releasing myself to it when I can, the fatigue. I have a hard time laying around, my lifestyle has never supported it. Luckily, it's summer. Its 100 degrees outside until 8pm. We have no after-work obligations. This all lends itself to coming home from work and laying down. I don't usually sleep, but I veg. The kids have waited all day for me to get home, but they are stir-crazy enough inside all day that they burst outside to play with their friends. And then, I have peace. I rest, they play, and then I get up and do something about dinner or walk the dogs with them. Its working out.

The radiation procedure is fast. Putting on my gown before and getting dressed after are 5 times longer than the radiation itself. I lay on the table, they move me around to line up with the markings on my ribs and chest and start the machine. It moves around and hovers from side to side of me and in about 2 minutes its done. I grab my coffee from the waiting room on the way out and I'm off to work.

I have to do this because it is a step in my recovery and I am serious about beating breast cancer. I have to do it whether the laundry needs done, or the dogs need walked, or the kids are fighting, or my patients at work must come into the office RIGHT NOW, or I need a workout to get ready for a race.

I make time for all of it, because all of it is important.