Monday, February 11, 2013

High School is Here~ How to Let My Child Choose Her Way

Where Did This Beauty Come From?
My 14 year-old Lil Lady is going to high school.  In the last month, she has been told by her middle school counselors about taking classes and what career academy she needs to decide on which will take her through high school and on into college.

She is not thrilled about all this.

She gets anxious when she thinks she has to decide NOW what she wants to be when she grows up.  I have explained the classes are all about exposure to new subjects in order to figure out what she is good at, and what she likes, and hopefully it will parlay into a major in college and eventually a career.

I have to back the truck up and tell her to just worry about 9th grade for now.  Intro classes and extra-curricular activities at a big new school.  Pre-AP or non-AP? Ride the bus to school or catch a ride?  Backpack or satchel?  All questions she is bringing up daily.

We have pretty much decided on what classes beyond her core-classes she will take.  We have discussed what would be interesting and/or fun for her electives.  Journalism so she can be in Yearbook, Gymnastics so she can stay active and learn more flexibility (at the ripe ole age of 14, one can't be immobile), and a technology class she needs for a computer credit which has an art undercurrent with audio/visual and communications included.

Sadly, she passed on my suggestions of the dance class for drill team or color guard.  A little piece of my heart broke off when she vehemently answered "No!" to the possibility of either of these teams. I think her words were actually "Ew, no."  Like a knife to my heart, Kid.

Alas, that was my life in high school, not hers.  I wonder if I pushed her too hard, and she isn't interested because she doesn't want to be compared to me?  Or does she think I was a nerd?  Either one or both surely.

What's wrong with this picture? Nothing! I was a STAR!!!

It is true that she really hasn't experienced high school other than the Friday night football games, and she may have to take a year to take it all in, then she may decide.  I fear of course that will be too late, and all the cliques will have formed and she will be lost.  Project much, Mom?

I still feel that butterfly-feeling of wanting acceptance I had, and I remember wanting to find my own way and not be pinned down by my parents wishes.  I'm 40+ and have my own teenager to try not to smother, but the feelings still come up.  I didn't want to be left out of anything back then.  At school I roamed in a pack, and rarely did anything that 78% of the school wasn't doing.

We all could've swapped clothes & hair and it'd be the same photo

I feel like it was yesterday.

It WAS yesterday, wasn't it?

Not me, not me, not me, not me...
I confess, I was a follower.

Yep, God forbid I show an ounce of originality back in my school days.  I attended Catholic school in junior high, for Pete's sake we all wore the same blue-plaid uniform.  I did own blue-and-white checked Vans I wore with my skirt-and-vest combo uni....I probably thought I was pretty out-there with my Vans on...such a skater-punk...not.

Fast forward to today.  Lil Lady's reality is she doesn't care to dress outrageously, but has a few fashion choices that are her own.  She has a Selena-Gomez-esque style, which I think is adorable, but I don't dare praise her too much.  That would be wrong.

She will paint her nails all different colors, write on her wrists or hands the names of her favorite boy-band, and has already dabbled in fun hair colors and styles.  She can rock a messy-teenager-sock-bun, or wand-curl each individual strand for a wavy look.  She has Converse, Sperry's and Tom's of all patterns, to wear below adorably tiny size 2 skinny jeans and shorts.

She has stayed in art class all through middle school, and dance, and theatre, and does best in Language Arts~ do you see a pattern here?  I do.  I see a My-Job-Will-Make-Me-No-Money-And-I-Could-Live-Back-Home-At-Some-Point-In-My-Adult-Life-pattern.  Thus the reason my input on class-choice is imperative as of now.
"My Mom Told Me There'd be Days Like This..."

She has her own thoughts on how high school will be.  I know how it was for me, but what the hell do I know about high school NOW?  Her soon-to-be school looks like a shopping mall, or an airport.  It has a cafe and a coffee shop right inside.  They are a 5A school which means BIG.  There are boys there who look like MEN.  There are girls there who are already Moms.  I get her anxiety.

It feels a bit like sending her off again to Kindergarten.  A full day of dealing with new people in a new place.  She's a thoughtful kid, so I can't wait to hear all about it.  Thank God for now, she still talks to me if no one else is around.

I must listen and repress interjecting my antiquated opinions on how high school was for me.  I don't even remember my Mom telling me how it was for her, and now I am sure it is because when she told me, I tuned her out immediately.  My poor Mom.

Well, Hello Karma...meet my daughter....










5 comments:

  1. Tracy Sessions MartinFebruary 11, 2013 at 4:19 PM

    Love it! Sounds very familiar to my own house....now & then.

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    1. Any tips about surviving it are appreciated! :-)

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  2. I'm sure that she will be OK - everything will be OK - she has you, strong mommy to empower, guide and be an example for her and this is PRICELESS !!! Best gift ever !
    I have to start reading your blog with day 1 :) and get back to you.
    Do you sometimes have the crazy sensation that you could be friends with a person after you read her blog ? I'm not a stalker, I promise :)
    S from Montréal

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    1. S, I do get to feel like "friends" with some of my bloggers, and they have many, many more followers than I could ever have! Glad you relate, it helps to know I'm not the most paranoid, anxiety-ridden Mom out there! Teenagehood is a damn chore to parent!

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  3. Kudos for being such a supportive parent by letting your little beauty go her way as early as high school! Thanks for this inspiring write-up.

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