I go work 8 hours every weekday.
For them.
I get up early in the morning to work out. For them.
I stop by the store on the way home, even when I'm tired. For them.
I struggle to find dinner creations that two girls will like. For them.
I take walks with the dogs and invite the girls to walk with us. For them.
I clean crumbs out of my bed because Chillgirl loves to curl up there and watch TV while munching on snacks. For her.
I buy electronics that they can't live without when we should probably be talking to each other more.
For them.
I discuss school projects, homework, and our crazy schedules with the girls in the car while we rush from place to place. For them.
I hide the lack of responsibility their dad displays on a regular basis so they will respect him. For them.
I referee vicious fights between the two girls so they will continue to love each other. For them.
I train with my tri buddies and take swim classes and compete in races. For them.
I chose to let a man into my life who understands children and loves mine, flaws and all. For them.
I may yell and want to run outside when frustrated with their behavior, but apologize and talk it out after my blood pressure returns to normal. For them.
I own and take care of my house and yards. For them.
I nod quietly and listen when Lil Lady starts to share her teenager drama between her and her friends.
For her.
I coach Chillgirl and have done so for Lil Lady in volleyball because I love the game and love to watch them love it too. For them.
I take adult-only vacations to unwind and act like a kid again. For them(me).
I force them to go to church lessons and Mass, so they will have a basis for their future relationships with God. For them.
I try to preserve a family attitude of "Let's stick together" so they won't feel the pain of divorce and not know how to create their own families. For them.
I explain to them that as women, they should value themselves above their men, and chose men who add to their lives, not who will become their lives. For them.
I forgive my girls when they aren't grateful or expect me to "be there" without asking if its convenient for me to do so. For them.
I recognize and appreciate that my children feel at home with me, more than anywhere else in the world, which is an indication I'm doing something right.
For me.
Now at the end of my 4th decade, I am happily married and still working the same job for 24 years, but looking toward more me-time and travel with my husband. Three step-kids, and two of my own daughters have begun to blossom as young adults. In the middle of so-called "middle age", I always have the need to vent, and this blog is my conduit for it...bear with me, cry with me, laugh with me...ignore me if you want! I do appreciate any comments, I'm almost 50 dammit, I can take it!
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