My Joy Coaching Winning Kids

I have had great coaches in the past.  I have worked alongside great coaches.  I am a coach.

My girls started getting interested in sports by ages 4 or 5 and every time I'd go to sign them up for a sport, there was always a need for parent volunteer coaches.  Lil Lady's first cheer squad was headed up by a parent volunteer coach, and I watched and then later helped get the girls organized, so by the next season I felt ready to volunteer myself, with another helper-parent.  Three practices a week and games on Saturday, we did just fine.  And I was hooked.

I admit, I love the Coaching Glory

I liked the control of leading the practices, the breaking lessons down, the disciplining of the kids to make them take it seriously, and watching them finally "get it".  There's nothing more frustrating than watching a teacher or coach do poorly at teaching and kids playing around or half-assing it.  Not my charges. I demanded excellence, but not before starting at the beginning.

After the hot, sweaty practices and games of Pop Warner Cheer, I was thrilled to see my oldest become interested in volleyball, my own favorite sport.  I played volleyball in middle school, but not high school. Then I picked it back up in college and after college and have never stopped.  I love the strategy and skill of a team of individuals ebbing and flowing to cover the court and make the play.  Its truly a beautiful sport to watch.  

We signed Lil Lady up at age 7 at the local rec center, where I was already playing on adult open play night, so one of my friends from open play wanted me to coach both our daughters together.  My Lil Lady's kneepads were as over-sized as her game shirt, but she was ready to be a "Tiger", the team name the girls picked out for themselves. She had some skill already, having played with Mom before.  She was naturally adept.  

With COACH across my back, I stood sideline to my friend head-coaching, and helped her teach these tiny 1st and 2nd graders how to bump and serve.  At that age, it was all about the serving.  The balls were big bouncy yellow things, and if hit correctly there was no problem sending them over the very low beginner net.  We taught them straight arms, bent knees, and moving to the ball while calling out "Mine!".  I don't remember the scores, but we did alright.  If by the end of the season all the kids were getting their serves over the net, and bumping somewhere in the vicinity of the court lines, we were pretty darn proud of ourselves as coaches.  My co-coach was as competitive as I am, so we applauded the great plays and good serves, and we constructively corrected the misses.  There was no forced smiles and fake clapping from us.  We were serious about making these little girls real volleyball players.

More seasons of Lil Lady playing all the way up to 10U volleyball and then Chillgirl, who had attended all the practices and games, was ready to play.  She was only 6, but already spot-on with hand-eye coordination and efficiency in passing a volleyball as well as serving.  Lil Lady was almost 10 and I was coaching her again in the Fall that year, and the rec director allowed me to start Chillgirl in the 8U division, knowing I had been coaching her for years already.  That season I double-dutied, head-coaching the 8U team, The Pink Ladies, and assistant-coaching Lil Lady's team (name forgotten since they changed names every season).  I worked my schedules so no games overlapped but I do remember changing colored coaches shirts in the bathroom to go from one game to the next.  And sometimes they weren't even at the same gym! 

Again starting back to basics with the 8 and unders, bumping and serving with the big yellow ball, while the 10U kids had moved on to the Volleylite white balls and more elaborate 3 bumps and over skills.  I loved both teams and although hectic, my weeks and Saturdays were full of rewards.

Lil Lady took a break from volleyball so I could devote my whole attention to Chillgirl and her teams.  I was able to get some of the same kids back each season, and made new friends with the parents.  The kids were more comfortable with me and the other kids they knew, but I always started the season's practices back at the basics.  Move the feet, shuffling side to side, front to back, arms out like a table-top when the ball is near (not while running), call your ball, and bend the knees to pass, not the arms.  Serving underhanded became old-hat, so overhand was the new challenge.  

I have been able to lead a team with one of the other mom's, who played volleyball in high school, as my co-coach for several seasons holding onto a core group of about 4 to 5 girls.  They could request me as their coach and the director usually accommodated.  Some girls came and went, never with hard feelings.  All the parents appreciated my patience and passion with their kids.  At some point we were winning more than losing and finally took first place in our division.  We were the Bluebonnets that season, and the name stuck.  We won the division with it, so I wasn't changing it. 

We're Number 1!!!

I was able to move us to the 10U division with a set team, meaning I could sign on up to 5 girls I wanted to bring.  This became a problem because more than 5 girls wanted to stay with me.  I had to choose and the director said no more than 5.  Right before registration was closed, one of my more skilled kids fell off a trampoline and broke her forearm.  Her mom assured me she'd be out of the cast before the 2nd or 3rd game.  We only have 8 weeks of games in our season, so that was keeping me short a player who MAY or MAY NOT be healed by the 3rd game.  I chose to cut her, and keep one of the others I knew would be able to play.  That mom wasn't happy with me and we are no longer friendly.  The kid played with another team and has since given me hugs when our paths have crossed.

Such is the hard knocks of coaching.

My Bluebonnets have stuck together, with a few additions and subtractions, for seven seasons and several divisions.  They have won their division 5 times.  We are at the top of the ranks in our current season, which was in a new 12U division, while all my players began the season at ages 10 and 11.  We thought we'd have a learning season to experience "playing up" to the middle school rules, with a higher net, harder ball, and new rotation scheme.  We definitely have had some tough games and played experienced girls, but our girls are experienced too...6 out of my 9 also play on Club volleyball teams.  We look good out there.  We get complemented.  Some parents have approached me, asking how can their kid learn to play like that?  

I am sad for kids who could be great players but end up with parent volunteer coaches who have never played the game.  Some parents recognize this early and get their kid out and pay more for a Club team, but some parents can't or don't understand it, and the kid can only go so far.  I can't coach them all.

 

Lil Lady has gone into a different league with new coaches, and Chillgirl is starting her second year on a Club team, because I recognize I can't teach them the advanced skills they need to move on up in the sport.  I am happy to give the kids playing time and more experience and coach them through their rec games in the off-season of their Club teams.  My heart swells with pride when they come from behind, or suck it up when they feel like pouting, and get the win.  

We win a lot.  When we don't they don't like it.  I tell them when we are lagging behind, don't look at that score board.  I don't care about those numbers.  I care about how you play each time the ball is on your side of the net.  Look at each other and talk to each other and be aware of your court lines.  Play smart.

It works every time.

They usually get the win.  They always remain a team.  I will never stop coaching them.  When they play on other teams with other coaches, I'm still screaming from the bleachers.  Their coaches know this, and since I say things that make sense, they allow it.  Some of my rec kids play along side Chillgirl on her team and they listen to me too.  I'm still their coach.

Now as my soon-to-be-7th-graders move on to try out for their middle school teams, I can be certain they are showing up at tryouts prepared.  Their new coaches will not have to work as hard with them.  I will silently think, "You're Welcome".

Then I will find a few 7 year olds in need of a coach and start again.

2011~ A Charlie Sheen Kind of Year

A year with ups and downs, highs and lows, winning and losing. I figure a loose comparison to Charlie Sheen isn't uncalled for. I didn't have any goddesses or tiger blood but it has been a learning and growing year for me.

I have had some really good times. No, not drug-infused, but the laugh-out-loud, deep-breath-because-its-so-relaxing, tingly-all-over kind of fun. Seriously. Without drugs! Ok, a little wine or a great martini, sure.

My handsome Sinatra has been more here for me than any man in my life, even without him being physically here much of the time. I know when I finally realized how much we loved each other I was winning. I owe him for most of my UP times and deep breaths this past year.

My bestest girlfriends, Cora, K and K, my sister and a few fun others have been my rocks who sit and gab for hours about work, weight, exercise, kids, men, marriage, and anything under the sun. I'm so lucky they are 10 minutes away and we can jump on our bikes and ride the country roads, or meet with the kids for yogurt. These special ladies are willing meet anytime to share a margarita while bitching about the men in our lives (of course not you, sweetie), 'cause that's what friends are for. Hey, now that I think about it, maybe I do have some goddesses around me.

I have gotten to travel this past year twice with my group of high school friends who I haven't seen in years but fell right into the good ole days with as soon as we reconnected. Sinatra and I were so lucky to find these friends and make two different trips with them. One with all the kids and one with only the adults. Much love and laughter on both. Other trips with Sinatra and I and the kids were great bonding times for our new double-sized family. Such happy times.

I had some unlucky and scary times as well. Finding more spots on my follow-up mammogram and then the two biopsy surgeries to rid me of the cancerous cells floating around in me was paralyzing fear I'd not yet experienced before in my life. I had so many questions and dark thoughts rolling around in my head, but I kept going through my days by sheer will power and routine to not let myself wallow in it too much. I read up on what I had and my treatment, and followed message boards of other women with much worse to deal with and tried to put it all in perspective. I had cancer, and now its gone. I'm keeping that thought in the forefront until I'm told otherwise.

The only other negative drama has come in the form of people in my life who dislike me for not who I am but for what I have become to my boyfriend and his children. I love these four people and want them in my and my girls' lives. They want to be with us too. The ex and her husband suddenly in this past year are very concerned with the children living in another town and their control over them. Their lifestyle has not been one conducive to having children around on a regular basis before now, but they want to prevent the kids from living and/or moving with their father. Their father, who has happily never waivered in his devotion to them during the over two years since the marriage ended. Much time and money has been spent on this and its far from over. No concrete plans of a move are being made for this reason. I have good days and bad days on how this affects me. I am on the outside looking in but am also very involved when it comes to the arguing and ugliness causing pain to my dear man and his children. I want it all to resolve so we can move on, no matter what the outcome.

For all the bad, there really was much more good. I'm blessed to have all the people in my life and a stable family and job. I get love and support from most everyone I choose to be around. I have a solid sense of my own self that has always pulled me through adversity by working hard and loving well, and the reward is getting to enjoy it all. It doesn't have to come easy, I will do what I have to do to make it happen.

Bring on a New Year, in the wise words of Charlie Sheen, "Born ready. Winning."