My job as an audiologist is about listening to the issues affecting people in their lives, and these are folks who have lived many more years than me, so once the hearing aid issue is laid out, I love to hear their stories about their pasts, their families, their careers, their mistakes, their life lessons. You can always find something to learn from them. Its either do that, or shuffle them off to their next doctor's appointment like they aren't worth the tennis balls on the bottom of their walkers. How could anyone do that? Yes, some are crabby or downright ornery, but even those grouches can be made to smile when you ask them what they did for a living before retirement or about their grandchildren. My work is a big part of my identity. After almost 20 years of doing this, it is what it is, and I make the best of it. Good people at work were the Sunshine in my head part of my day.
Today after work I got to go play with my kids. Outdoor volleyball practice for my Pink Zebras team to get them a bit more coaching in a different venue. When they weren't playing in the sand, I saw a few happy smiles when serves made it over the higher net. This was the Sunshine in the sky part of my day.
New topic: "worldly success has shallow roots while interpersonal bonds permeate through and through"...from an article I found online, called The Sandra Bullock Trade, by David Brooks. He poses the question of poor Sandy feeling if it was worth it to gain such success in her career but lose the love of her life in the same moment? Studies show people in good marriages (glad to hear there are such people) enjoy happiness and fulfillment in less paying jobs more than those who are in bad marriages and high paying jobs. I won't go so far as to ruminate on marriage at this particular point in my jaded station in life, but having a good friend, even in the worst of times, brings happiness.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/30/opinion/30brooks.html
Another part of my identity is because of my friends. I have hung onto many of them for many years and make conscious efforts to stay in touch. Some people don't understand this. Some people only have a few friends they trust and they still don't talk to them all that often. My friends are the best! I can say that with confidence because several have stuck with me since elementary school. I imagine what a blessing it would be if my daughters will still be in touch with the friends they have RIGHT NOW, like I do!
These are friends from waaaay back when we wore our Luv-its and topsiders on the playground, or from high school in our acid-washed, rolled up tight jeans at the MickyD's on 146 in B-town, or from college in our windshorts and tees, with bows in our hair on the WC shuttle bus-- they all shared major milestones with me and have something to contribute still to this day to what is happening to me now. Luckily for me, I am still making new friends with my new common interests (my cycling chickies in our spandex and clip-shoes cruising up Ronald Reagan Blvd) and feel myself getting closer to them each day.
They are mostly girlfriends, but some guys have hung in there with me as my confidantes, giving me "well duh" advice in an unbiased way. I was able to just tonight check in with an old guyfriend who posted on FB he was having a hard day. He's divorced with kids at home with him too, and we are easily able to commiserate with each other's kid issues like leaving clean laundry on the floor and forgetting homework until 10pm. He vented about his ex-wife's gall at expecting him to still pay her Discover card, and I totally got that frustration he was feeling. Other guys are honest enough to tell me not to overthink things and go with my gut on other things.
Good times, good friends. Who needs an ex-bf who confuses friendship with co-dependency??
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